Ditched Best Friend

Dear Abbey,

I have known my best friend, Katie, since seventh grade. We have been there for each other through thick and thin and have had some great times! Six months ago, Katie met her first boyfriend. At first everything was so exciting and we always talked about their relationship! It was something that she had wanted for a long time. After a while, I saw less and less of Katie.  I have tried to get together with her but she ditches me for her boyfriend almost every time. The rare times that we do hang out, she won’t stop talking about him. I miss my best friend, but I am also really hurt how she has treated me. I want to talk to her about how I feel but I don’t know how to approach it. Any advice?

-Ditched BFF

First of all, I want to tell you that this isn’t the only ‘ditched BFF’ letter I have received. Many girls your age have faced this same problem and it really is a part of growing up. It’s hard being replaced and it is easy to become bitter if you just soak in the hurt feelings. It is great to hear that you want to talk it out with your friend! Open and clear communication is the key to all relationships. Many girls will ignore and give the silent treatment to a friend they have been hurt by. This doesn’t do any good for either of you!  First, you should find a time for you and your friend to be together, just the two of you. You don’t want to start by accusing her of being a horrible friend, but rather just express to her how you have been feeling. Make sure she understands how much you care about her friendship and that you would appreciate spending more time with her. Keep it at a calm level and if things start getting heated, take a break and come back to the discussion later. Also, be sure to listen to her side of the story also. There may be some things that you are unaware of and she will need to be heard out. Make sure you leave the conversation somewhat resolved, where both of you feel understood and reassured in the friendship! Hope this helps!

-Abbey

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Ask Abbey!

Dear Abbey,

My mom and I used to really get along. In fact, she was one of the only persons that I could talk to about things going on in my life. Ever since I entered high school, things have changed. I have been spending a lot more time with my friends, and she has been busier at work. I feel like we have been getting in a lot more fights lately too. How do I fix my relationship with my mom?   -Sarah

Sarah,

Unfortunately, there is no formula to that will magically mend you and your mom’s friendship. Every person is different and needs certain things in order to feel loved by another. It sounds as if time with you is something that is important to your mom. Since you both have been busier, your relationship has been wounded.  I would advise that you set aside some time in your day just to hang out with just your mom! Take her out for ice cream , go on a walk together, or just do the fun things you used to! This will show your mom that you value your relationship with her. She will see that you want to use your time to be with her, which makes anyone feel special! You can always just remind her that you love her and show her by helping out with things around the house. Also, it is really important to be thankful for what she does for you. Make sure to show her your appreciation. Though your relationship with her will not exactly become perfect overnight, small steps are what it takes to change something! Image

Which Fake Nails are the Best?

Have you ever noticed how many nail salons they are in your town? I believe I see at least five or six in mine, just driving along the main street! Many females these days, ranging from middle school to 60+ year olds, are getting their nails done. If you are looking at getting your nails done, whether for a special occasion or just to treat your beautiful self, and you don’t know which ones are right for you, read on and find out!

Acrylic nails are very popular and are best for you if your nails keep splitting or tearing. You can get them in various colors and designs, plus you are able to chose the shape of your nail, however, they can do a lot of damage to your nail beds during the time they are on because it doesn’t allow the skin underneath to breath. Thus, when you get them taken off, your natural nails will be very sensitive and will take some time to grow back strong again. Usually you will only have to get acrylic nails filled once every couple to a few weeks, depending on how fast your nails tend to grow.  Also, if you break one of these, be prepared to have part, if not most, of your nail ripped off. This is because they adhere so well to your nails that a bump can tear your already fragile nail. This isn’t a common occurrence unless your job entails handling a lot of dishware or manual labor.

Stick-on nails are healthier for your nails and can be found at any grocery store, which also means they are more affordable. However, they tend to not be as durable as acrylics due to water and the oily conditions of your natural nails (yes, even your nails can have a bit of natural oil on them). Most of the time, these DIY kits come with glue, too, but be warned, they tend to attract fungus and microorganisms, like bacteria!

Some women stick to a basic manicure where you can get your nails painted over. It is quick and easy, and can allow you to do it yourself! Usually you can find fingernail polish in the store that is made specifically for strengthening and/or lengthening nails.

Gel-nails are a newer form of acrylics. The methods used vary and the type of substance used is different from acrylics. These nails tend to be more flexible and they are more healthy for your natural nail bed rather than acrylics. One con to this type of fake-nail is that they don’t stay on as long as acrylics and water tends to loosen their grip from your nails. These nails are best if you are not wanting “extensions” put on your nails, but rather are trying to strengthen the nails that already exist. This will help your nails grow faster and are not as harsh on your natural nails, too, but will still make them a bit soft once they are taken off. Another con is that this method does cost more than acrylics.

If you are looking at getting your nails done and you are a student, be sure to ask your salon if they have student discounts. Most do and will usually advertise, but it never hurts to ask. Be sure to find someone you can trust to do your nails or a salon that has had good ranking and reviews found online. Also, make it extra fun and make a girl’s day out with  you and your friends!

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